The False Worlds We Create (if you don't have time to read it all, just read the last paragraph)

"Today's youth want to be challenged" -- Wayne West, Jr. High Sunday school teacher, bullfighter

In the last three years as I have been in youth ministry, coached athletics, and worked at bull ridings for adults and youth, I have come to basically the same conclusion.

However, this conclusion has now come to fail me. I find that as I look at many of the situations around me, challenge is not the word I would put with it. Today, many people want security, a quality that we continually provide for our children (often longer than is needed). Here are a couple examples:

My soccer team has actually been in some games this year. I have pushed these kids harder than they really needed pushed, but for the first time in 3 years they are actually a decent team that has a chance of winning when they take the field. Some of these kids have taken me yelling at them as a negative. This year many parents have taken yelling at their precious suzy or timmy as "too aggressive" and "not very nice." Kids are complaining to their parents; parents are complaining to each other. It is not a good situation.

When I was growing up, I played all kinds of sports, excelling at none of them. I have been yelled at many times and in a couple different languages. Why? Because my coach knew I could be better than I was playing. Expecting the best out of people is the only way that you can get the best out of them. Me aiming low is not helping any of these kids get any better at soccer. Me patting tommy on the head and telling him that he is good at soccer isn't helping me, the team, or our chances of winning. If we want to eliminate competition lets get rid of everything that is laborious: instead of "hide and go seek" with its hiding and searching, we could let every kid run free in search of himself. What about instead of "tag your it" we could play "tag your special" with no designated tagger allowing each kid to remind himself or herself (we are going for equality here) that they are special in everyones sight.

That is one of the reasons I love being around the sport of rodeo. If you aint any good...you know pretty quickly. There is absolutely no way of hiding it. If you don't want to try...then you lose every time. And when you lose there is no one back there pointing out moral victories. Yesterday I saw a dad tell his kid to get up and walk out of the arena after being stepped on by a calf. Why is this? Because him lying there in the arena wasn't doing him any good and wasn't doing anyone else any good either.

What worries me is this idea that in sports everyone deserves a chance to play and everyone deserves equal playing time, and no one should get yelled at! We have spent so much time creating these false worlds that protect our kids from all aspects of real life. Upward! basketball and other places where everyone plays equal amounts are for those learning the game and should remain outside the box of common thinking when high school sports comes into play. Pissing and moaning about Johnny getting to play more or a coach yelling is not the correct way to go about anything.

The correct way is to get your butt in the gym, put on a game face, and figure out how far your heart will take you. If it is a matter of skill, a coach can help out, but if it is a matter of the heart then the ball is in your court.

I refuse to say bad things about a coach for this very reason: I have not been at their practice all week to see if little timmy has an ounce of fight in his blood for the ball. I have not been to practice all week to see if he has any kind of coachable spirit. I have not witnessed whether or not my kid has any kind of respect for his teammates or coaches. Therefore I will keep my mouth-shut.

People may disagree with me on that; but as I have seen both sides of coaching and parenting (at their best and at their worst); I cant help but feel uncomfortable about how many people have an opinion about the way coaches handle their business. If you look at them as people who are trying to achieve their own acclaim through the accomplishments of others you might be right. But also remember that they are preparing your student to work hard for everything that they get; to be part of the team even when it is hard; and to find the depth that they have to reach to excell at something. If you ask me, in this no-child-left-behind-world where many graduate and still cant read, sports seems to be the final real preparation for that hard-to-get-along-with-boss, the unfair workplace; the disappointing grade on a college test; or the rejection that comes with life. We don't need less sports; we need more.

PBR Questions

This might be my fault but I doubt it.

My association with the PBR is small, but my interest in it is great. My home page on my computer is www.pbrnow.com. I get e-mail updates about recent activity within the organization and during competition. This may be my fault for being on the ground floor of all the pbr information.

But I do not know when the PBR became so much like the WWE. One thing that bothers me is the amount of trash talk during the World Cup of Bull Riding. The CEO, Randy Bernard, talked bad about team Canada; JW Hart (team USA's captain) talked bad about Adriano Moras (team Brazil's captain); Team Brazil and team USA talked trash to each other; Cody Lambert talked bad about everyone. It was crazy.

One thing I have really liked about bull riding is the understanding that they are not competing against each other necessarily; but against their bulls. I fought in a freestyle contest the other day, a couple of the guys were talking trash to each other before hand. Not the playful stuff, but the getting in their face and talking smack. Both of them got run over (I refuse to talk trash because Im not good enough to back it up). There is the unwritten rule in my mind that "if you cant beat your bull, you cant beat anyone else." The trash talking didn't need to be there in my mind.

Something else that bothers me about the current state of the PBR is the Television contract with Versus. PBR fell into the same trap as the NHL. Each of them signed a more lucrative contract at the expense of viewership. The PBR would have been better served to take less money and less televised events for the opportunity for greater exposure. To be bumming around on Versus when less primetime, but greater exposure (without having to pay extra for it) is the smarter move.

Other things that bug me is the talk about coaches and the big deal that comes with it. There is nothing wrong with having some one coach you (I would actually endorse it, thanks to Bennie Bob), but the whole discussion came about because of a reride controversy by JB Mauney. He was awarded a reride on a bull, that was a questionable decision by the judges. With the instant replay rule, anyone can hit the button to have a replay viewed. This replay could have overturned the reride option. Having a coach to make the decision for a rider to hit the button seems to be a little to much micromanaging. Bullriding schools have furthered the sport (I was helped out a ton at the bullfighting school). Older riders mentor younger ones all the time, but when it comes to competition, your ability and decision making in competition needs to be all your own.

I think the PBR is the best bullriding in the world. As much as the CBR wants to rival it; the PBR has the best bulls and the best riders in the world. The CBR is on the right track to gaining equality by not bogging themselves down in the trash talking crap; and video replay controversies; and sponsorship for every single aspect including the bells ringing on the underside of the bull.

A thought..

I was trying to get to soccer practice the other day. I hadn't eaten anything all day, so I decided to stop and get some sustenance at my friendly local Dillions Market. I walked in and grabbed a box of fruit snacks; 2 pizza lunchables and a gatorade.

As I approached the lines at the front of the market in order to pay for my items, there seemed to be a bottle neck at both of the lines that were manned by humans. Each line was filled with 4 or 5 people. I am currently reading a book called Are We Unique? which lays out the differences between human and animal intellect; the last chapter of which lays out the inadequacy of Artificial intelligence. With or without the book I still do not like using the self checkout lanes for four reasons: (1) There is nothing that beats reading the name tag of the high school girl that sacks your groceries and watching her face freak out wondering how this creeper in line knows her name; (2) I saw the Matrix (and in the off chance that robots do actually take over the world, I want to be on the ground floor so you can say that you read it here first), I think that by checking out at the unmanned lanes is simply leading to a machine dominated world; (3) Many have hypothesized that I do not get enough human interaction anyhow, so secluding myself even farther from society is not a wise decision; (4) cant beat human interaction.

Since I was on a deadline and had to be somewhere, I decided to forgo my addiction to human operated conveyor belts and lazers and go with the readily available self checkout lane. As I walked up to the only open lane (should have been my first clue). The nice lay who did the voice overs continually reminded me that I should remove all items from the scanner. After a couple minutes of muttering to myself quietly to myself, but also loud enough for the attendant to hear that the scanner was clean, I decided to move over to one of the other occupied lanes. I move to the only line with one person in it. As a quick reminder underneath the title "Self Checkout" reads the subtitle "Express lane," meaning quicker than others.

The woman in front of me scanned her items in a timely fashion. The problem lies not in her speed of scanning but the fact that she possessed a coupon for every item that she had purchased. Her need to scan each and every coupon that had not been sorted from a coupon book roughly the size of the unabridged version of The Count of Monte Cristo is really what slowed the whole process down. Half of them didn't scan, so the number had to be typed in manually. The 10 minutes that this was going on the whole world, meaning every line around me, was all moving in the direction I desire; my line remained stuck. Luckily after all the waiting she was able to pay for her groceries. Swipe a card; nope. She started placing coins and bills into the slots until she had covered the cost. I did the math in my head. All the time wasted saved her almost 30 cents. Book the cruise and make the down payment on the BMW.

My transaction with 10 less items lasted a total of one minute: the definition of express.

The Struggles of Jr. High Ministry:

Every now and then a great idea for a series comes into my head. I feel like this series on community is a good one. The thing is, during these series there is usually one lesson that is extremely difficult to teach.

One thing I have realized in my work with Jr. High Students is that they have trouble comprehending really abstract thoughts. How do you explain faith; or hope; or love to Jr. High students?

As a matter of fact: how do you explain them to me?

Word studies just wont cut it. Most of the kids could care less that I can conjugate "elpis".

Its a different world in the days of Middle School ministry.