Hollowness!

Sometimes I look in the mirror and don’t even recognize the man that stares back at me. I remember coming into this job with assuredness and confidence; now I feel like a hollow man. I taught on the flood this morning. A type of baptism. When the topic of baptism came up one of our elders shared his opinion that baptism was not necessary for salvation. I disagree, but it doesn’t really matter because I said nothing. I think there is a pretty strong leg to stand on when it comes to baptisms necessity for salvation; but that is beside the point. The point is: I said nothing. I shrank back.

When a man comes to the point where his convictions become obsolete what happens to the man? When what a man believes ceases to move him to action; does he really believe them?

I have a friend whose favorite statement is this: “I am not accountable to the church; but to Christ!” Sounds good to me but I wonder what happened to my backbone. I miss it. I am turning into the very person that my friend refuses to be!

It spills over to the other aspects of my life. The youth ministry under my leadership is suffering because I am not the man who will stand up and say something. Those that are counting on me to tell them about Christ are hindered because of my passivity. I am turning into the man I never said I would become.

To think that my belief is now dictated by those who I admire and look up too is scary. I’m sure God wants more out of me than this!

The Top Ten Mistakes Leaders Make

The Top Ten Mistakes Leaders Make by Hans Finzel

Leadership has always been one of my short comings. When I was in High School we had a great group of leaders our youth group. Travis Mckinley, Jason Colvin, Lindsey McClellan and Aaron Brent were really good leaders because the set the tone in youth group and led by their examples. Once that class of about 12 seniors graduated; it was mine and my classmates turn to lead the youth group. Needless to say it was a few dry years for leadership (the likes of which it still hasn't quite recovered). As a youth leader myself I still find it difficult to lead my group of sponsors. I really struggle with what to do to train and lead them. We have such a strong and Godly group of Sponsors here at Central Park, that I almost feel as though I should be learning and being led by them instead of the other way around. So I read this book to try to become a better leader.

Since leadership is all about influence; essentially this book marks the 10 mistakes that people make to lose any influence they have.

(1) The Top-Down Attitude: the domineering, autocratic leadership style in use; in contra to a servant-style leadership model. The use of knowledge to keep people in line and in place. Though top-down leadership is easiest to exercise; it breeds contempt and distrust.

(2) Putting Paperwork before Peoplework: Viewing people as opportunities instead of interruptions. The higher we ascend in leadership, the less time we have to invest in people. Experts actually say that effective leaders spend most of their time with people doing people work.

(3) The Absence of Affirmation: Breaking news: people like praise!

(4) No Room for Mavericks: Penning in creative thinkers with rules and regulations. Essentially legislating out the creative process. He points out that the mavericks were the creators of facebook and google. There is a reason college graduates wanted to work for Mac over IBM or a new .com company over a mom-and-pop run organization. Younger generation employees want the room to explore and act. "Mavericks are messes by nature--but good messes-messes that institutions need." He also tracks the lifespan of an organization and shows where mavericks are needed most in the life cycle of an organization.

(5) Dictatorship in Decision Making: Understanding that the major players on a team should have a say in the direction of the organization.

(6) Dirty Delegation: "Overmanagement is one of the cardinal sins of leadership." Giving people tasks and letting them run with it is a chance for them to show their creativity and to feel excited about the path of the organization.

(7) Communication Chaos: Not knowing whose in charge of what and when. Keeping people in the loop.

(8) Missing the Clues of Corporate Culture: Embracing the culture at the organization. Changing the culture when it needs to be changed.

(9) Success without Successors: training up other leaders to replace you. Knowing you wont be here forever.

(10) Failure to Focus on the Future: Not looking ahead. Turing into kodak in a digital camera world.

When I read through this book I realized over the last year I was guilty of at least 8 of them. I still on a weekly basis find myself struggling with these things. But I am trying to practice at least one of them a week so as to further myself in leadership ability.

I don't believe leadership is a natural trait in humanity; but I think it can be developed. This book helped me realize how.

sometimes you hop into a fight you cant win

I love fighting bulls! THere are times when you hop in there and know you are going to get hit! The shots that hurt the worst are the ones you don't expect.

Up the road from the church is a middle school: Robinson. As I was heading home from work, I saw two girls yelling at each other in front of the school. One girl called another girl a name and I saw the book bags drop. In the time it took me to take of my sunglasses Girl A had a hold of Girl B's "nappy fro" (I use this term simple because Girl A used it to describe Girl B's hair). A couple sharp rights by Girl B had put Girl A in a backpedal; but if you have been paying attention Girl's A hand was stuck in the locks of Girl B's hair! So the girls are intertwined in a flurry of nails, dreds, and fists! They hit the ground with a thud and rolled down the embankment toward the street falling off the curb.

At this point I had pulled off my hat and sunglasses and pulled my truck over. I shut the truck off and hopped out. I bolted across the street just as the two girls were pulling hair and rolling down the hill into the street. Girl A slammed Girl B's head into the concrete just as I put Girl A into a head lock! They each got to their feet at the same time and I positioned myself to make a "pick" on girl A and take her away from Girl B. I still had Girl A in a headlock as i turned my body toward her to take a position between the two. I didn't quite make it all the way! Girl A threw a haymaker that did not land where she had hoped! It was her intention to land her shot in the face of Girl B; however, it landed on my Zygomatic arch just below my eye! I just held on until the principals showed up!

At the end of the day; I would rather deal with the bulls than the rough shot by a 80 lb jr. high girl! I kind of like working in the hood!

Jr. High Camp

I just realized that I had not updated my blog to show the video from jr. high camp!

We went to King Solomon Christian Camp this year in Solomon, Kansas. As you can see from the video; we kept the kids fairly busy! One of my favorite parts of camp was the maze. We placed all the kids in a maze blindfolded. What they did no realize was that there was no way to get out the maze. We roped off the entrance after they had entered. The only way out was to surrender. It was a great illustration of the Christian life and accepting Christ! It was a great week of ministry that ended with our group growing much closer to each other and God!

Dino Day

Dinosaurs for years have been used (unintentionally, I believe) as the perfect example of how the Genesis account of creation is a myth. In my opinion churches have often not stepped up to give an answer to the question of Dinosaur origins and a biblical precedent for their existence. Too often, we as churches have spent our time letting the Institute for Creation Research; Creation Truth Foundation; Foundation for Advancing Christian Truth (FACT); or Answers in Genesis to answer their questions for us; however, God has given the local church the daily contact with people's lives in order to answer the questions that they have! The goal of Dino Day was to give our kids a biblical look at dinosaurs. They excavated a 18' T Rex, made their own fossils and are now in possession of an actual fossil that Colby and I picked up over at Calhoun Bluffs. We talked about Genesis 1 and when Dinosaurs were created. We discussed Job 40 and the animals that were discussed there: Behemoth and Leviathan. We ended the day with the Extinction of the dinosaurs and the role of the Flood of Genesis 6 in their disappearance.

It is our job as the local church to answer every question that our kids might have! Interestingly enough, it was the youngest kids who already knew that dinosaurs live 65 million years ago...church we are behind the game! Its time we start listening; start studying; and start answering!

Q: You find yourself in a deep hole. What is the first thing that you do?

A: Drop the shovel.

I would like to tell you about the last couple weeks; but in this short space I cannot fit it all here. I will give the best of it and if you want the rest you will have to look me up!

During the third week of March, I was reading through the book of Jeremiah. I came to the complaint sections of Jeremiah. If you don’t know much about the book of Jeremiah, he has a couple sections of him complaining to God about the trials in his life. As I studied them I found some really interesting stuff. A couple minutes of meditation in Jeremiah 12 led me to pray about this section. During that prayer the pride that had taken over my life reared its ugly head as I began to thank God that I was not like Jeremiah; arrogant and questioning of God. Jeremiah’s arrogance had shown up in his questioning God’s justice and God rebuked him. My arrogance showed up without the mask of justice and conversation with God. The audacity of my prayer life is absolutely exquisite. It was then that God laid the hammer on me. Pride and arrogance let me ruin relationships and hurt a lot of the people that I come into contact with regularly. The pride in what I did and accomplished, had ruined the joy I found in it. Pride stood in the way of promising relationships and any hope of a intimate relationship with God. The realization (shown by God that fateful morning) of the toxicity of my arrogance and hubris set me on the path to a lot of humbling conversations and many more to come. These discussions have been at times awkward; at times intimidating; but every time liberating! Now I have this last thing to say: “You, Church, deserved better from me.” One more difficult to type statement; but liberating! God's work in our lives is never complete. I am thankful for a God who points out our shortcomings and works with us through them! A God of so much Grace is he!

"This successful life we're livin' got us feuding like the Hatfield and McCoy's" -- Waylon Jennings

This was war! Every war had a beginning! KU-MU: the boarder war, started with Quantrill's raiders attacking (killing 200 citizens) and burning the town of Lawrence. Once the University of Kansas and the University of Missouri began lacing up the hightops, the war has taken shape on the basketball court. As a Jayhawk fan, I want to be honest with you readers: we hate losing, but if the choice was between KSU and MU, I would much rather lose to KSU than Mizzou! The Hatfield and Mccoy Rivalry of the mid to late 19th century began over the killing of a Union soldier after he had returned from the war. In the prologue of Shakespear's Romeo and Juliette, we learn that this is an "ancient grudge" between the Capulets and the Montagues. One can only assume what started that war. Was it wealth? power? fame? a car wreck?

The point is this: Every war had at least on triggering factor. What if it was a person? What if you were the Helen of Troy? The reason for the fighting. Homer's Illiad (with huge nods to other ancient historians) recounts the battle of Troy as Paris, the Trojan Prince, has taken (Sappho claims she came willingly others would argue she was taken by force) Helen, the beautiful wife of King Menalaus. This war was massive. Men from all over the world would fight in this war. How would you feel if you were the cause? If you were Helen?

This is the very dilemma that John Mark (know as Mark from now on) faced in Acts. Though his decision would not cost any lives, he did cause a schism in the team of Paul and Barnabs (or should I say Barnabas and Paul?).

Mark was from Jerusalem. He had seen Christian Church from its infancy. His mother's house was a place of prayer and worship (Acts 12.12). Once his cousin Barnabas (Colossians 4.10) had taken a bigger role in the ministry of Jesus, Mark knew he wanted in. Barnabas was the one who had brought Saul into the mix with the apostles (Acts 9.27) here in Jerusalem. Now years later Barnabas and Saul ask this man, Mark, if he wants to be part of the first missionary journey! That's like being asked to go to the moon, or if you wanted a pulitzer? Its not something you scoff at or hesitate on. You jump at the first opportunity, just as Mark did.

The honeymoon period for missionaries doesn't last too long. Soon the newness wore off and Mark had a problem. What that problem was we can only speculate. Perhaps it was the reallocation of power between Paul and Barnabas (notice the names are now reversed, with Paul taking a leading role for the rest of the book) probably didn't sit too well with the cousin. Maybe it was fear. They were headed to a place (Pisidia Antioch) known for its bandits. It could have been sickness or a family crisis. For whatever reason, Mark leaves (Acts 13.13) to return to Jerusalem.

This action doesn't sit too well with Paul. When the idea came up about returning to all the places they visited on the first missionary journey, Paul and Barnabas began assembling a team (Acts 15.36). The subject of Mark came up. Barnabas wanted him, Paul didn't (Acts 15.37). He had deserted them in Pamphylia (Acts 15.38). The greatest team of missionaries to the date was now split up by the disagreement over Mark. Barnabas took Mark to his home of Cyprus and Paul took Silas (Acts 15.39-40).

That had to be rough on Mark. To be the one who is fought over. The one causing the dispute. Chronologically this is the last we will hear of Barnabas. He isn't mentioned again. How would you feel if you were Mark? The dispute had to have some kind of lasting effects. Paul was probably just as disappointed in him as he was that Barnabas wanted to take him. These are the kinds of wounds that linger for some a lifetime.

Though Barnabas fades away, Mark resurfaces. Nearing the end of his life; perhaps just days or hours before his execution, Paul asks for Mark to come to Rome with Timothy, because he is helpful to his ministry (2 Timothy 4.11). Paul mentions him from an earlier imprisonment in Colossians 4.10, and we have to wonder if the instructions were about his rehabilitation for Paul? It matters not, at the end of Paul's life, he wants Mark to come to him! Paul just spent time telling Timothy about those that have deserted him: Demas, Crescens, and Titus. We aren't sure of all the circumstances here or whether they left on good terms, but needless to say, Paul is alone (aside from Luke). Bring Mark!

So many times our arguments are final. All to often our differences are relationship ending. We harbor resentment and anger; hatred and aggression. Paul, during a hectic first missionary journey, was deserted by a guy he thought he could trust! Like the rope that is holding a mountain climber, often the resentment and anger are the only thing that still attaches us to relationships. I don't know what Mark did to get reinstated or whether it was Paul's grace and mercy towards an old friend, whatever it was it is an example.

We can't hold onto our petty ministry differences any longer. No longer can resentment rule the attitudes of our heart. We may not agree on everything, but no matter how great the wound, forgiveness and understanding can fill it. Ministry philosophies and ministry dedication differs; family troubles are handled differently by all; and some people are just hard to get along with. They will abandon, infuriate, and tear down. They will act apathetic, lethargic, and illogical. Paul felt all these from Mark, but in the same way that Jesus felt and bore all these as well, Paul found ability to forgive.

Bring Mark, for he is helpful to my ministry (2 Tim. 4.11)! The original title for Mark was: "helper" (Acts 13.5). Good to know he ended the same way he started.

The Twenty Taco Challenge

Notice there are only 17 wrappers!

Pride and arrogance have no place at the table. Hubris and over-confidence shouldn't make an appearance either; however, as I sat across from one of my high school students tonight, these were the traits he was relishing!

Last night after the purity dinner, Tyler Ward, Kosten, C.J. Spence, and I went to Taco Bell and Dairy Queen. As we were ordering, Tyler became enamored with the Grande Meal. Apparently he has never looked that closely at the menu. The Grande meal is a mix and match meal consisting of 10 items of either hard tacos; soft tacos; or bean burritos. Tyler wanted a meal like that.

I informed him that there was no way he could eat 10 of anything. In a brash reply, he told me that he could finish not one but two Grande Meals. For those of you keeping count that is 20 items. In a bet only to be surpassed by God and Satan of Job 1; I took his wager!

Tonight was the night where this would be tested. AFter youth group Ireland, C.J, Aaron Jones, Austin and I headed to Taco bell to see if Tyler could complete the Herculean task of twenty tacos in the course of one meal. The argument rose as to how long a meal lasted. Was it 45 minutes? an hour? hour and a half? How long was a meal? We gave him 45 minutes!

He started off well.

First couple tacos went down well. Then the T-Bell staff came out and let us know that should he complete the task he would get 5 free tacos. One night of abdomen problems apparently has a price of $3.50 in store credit? But now the stakes were raised. They were taken to a whole notta level!

Around 8 tacos in (15 minutes) I began to get worried. He was going well and had a good rythym going (in no large part to the coaching of Austin and CJ; and the ever present optimism from Ireland). Meanwhile Aaron Jones regaled us with tales of battles and fights from his childhood with a brief shout out to the "fire thumbs."

13 tacos in (32 minutes) he began to slow down. He had started too quickly. There is a feeling; a notion that only people who have been around sports can recognize: its the look in the eye of the athlete when they realize the loftiness of their dreams; and the pain it will take to get there. Tyler had been wounded with the 13th taco!

At 17 1/2 tacos the deal was done! He was finished! Like Paul in 2 Timothy, he had fought the good fight and had come to the end of his race; it just so happened that it came 2 and a half taco shells short of where he had previously envisioned the line.

It was a valiant effort. A stunning display. When coming off a loss like that you never really are the same man; gastro-intestinally for sure; but psychologically and mentally as well. I have seen men never come back from something like that.

"YOU...

follow me!" Its an imperative command that Jesus gives to his disciples. He might not use the word "you" but we all know who he is talking about.

Mark 1.17: "Come, Follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men."

So much has been written about these verses. Some would argue that it was a massive struggle for these guys to drop their nets and follow him. Others contend that it was a great honor to be called to follow a teacher.

Some point out that Jesus wanted these guys to follow him based on their specific skills; others think Jesus picked them explicitly because of their lack of skills.

I don't know about either of these contentions; however, I do know that Jesus called these guys to follow. But Why? Not "why these guys?" but "why follow?" So much learning today is passive, sit in a desk and listen up. So much of the learning then was passive, set in synagogue and listen up or copy this (until later in life when they would learn from a rabbi). Why does Jesus give these guys in-life training? A couple reasons:

(1) Discipleship is a journey. When you look at the book of Mark much of Jesus teaching comes on the way. Life isn't lived at a desk. Theory would only take these guys so far and definitely not through the trials that these guys would face later on. The only way to expect that these guys would come through the trials in life later would be for them to follow someone through their own. Theory just ain't gonna cut it. Mark continually mentions things on the way: his three passion statements in the book of Mark (8.27-9.1; 9.30; 10.32) come "on the way"; he asks the disciples who he is (8.27); he even healed people on the way (10.46). Disciples move and discipleship is a journey.

(2) Discipleship is a reordering of life. It is a placement of his ideals and vision above your own. Take up your cross is a command to relinquish your own desires and personal security to embrace that which is called of you.

(3) Discipleship has no end. A disciple can expect no better than his teacher. His demise will to be yours. And for many of the disciples it was. Discipleship is continuous expectation for the rest of your life...there is no terms and there are no release dates.

The False Worlds We Create (if you don't have time to read it all, just read the last paragraph)

"Today's youth want to be challenged" -- Wayne West, Jr. High Sunday school teacher, bullfighter

In the last three years as I have been in youth ministry, coached athletics, and worked at bull ridings for adults and youth, I have come to basically the same conclusion.

However, this conclusion has now come to fail me. I find that as I look at many of the situations around me, challenge is not the word I would put with it. Today, many people want security, a quality that we continually provide for our children (often longer than is needed). Here are a couple examples:

My soccer team has actually been in some games this year. I have pushed these kids harder than they really needed pushed, but for the first time in 3 years they are actually a decent team that has a chance of winning when they take the field. Some of these kids have taken me yelling at them as a negative. This year many parents have taken yelling at their precious suzy or timmy as "too aggressive" and "not very nice." Kids are complaining to their parents; parents are complaining to each other. It is not a good situation.

When I was growing up, I played all kinds of sports, excelling at none of them. I have been yelled at many times and in a couple different languages. Why? Because my coach knew I could be better than I was playing. Expecting the best out of people is the only way that you can get the best out of them. Me aiming low is not helping any of these kids get any better at soccer. Me patting tommy on the head and telling him that he is good at soccer isn't helping me, the team, or our chances of winning. If we want to eliminate competition lets get rid of everything that is laborious: instead of "hide and go seek" with its hiding and searching, we could let every kid run free in search of himself. What about instead of "tag your it" we could play "tag your special" with no designated tagger allowing each kid to remind himself or herself (we are going for equality here) that they are special in everyones sight.

That is one of the reasons I love being around the sport of rodeo. If you aint any good...you know pretty quickly. There is absolutely no way of hiding it. If you don't want to try...then you lose every time. And when you lose there is no one back there pointing out moral victories. Yesterday I saw a dad tell his kid to get up and walk out of the arena after being stepped on by a calf. Why is this? Because him lying there in the arena wasn't doing him any good and wasn't doing anyone else any good either.

What worries me is this idea that in sports everyone deserves a chance to play and everyone deserves equal playing time, and no one should get yelled at! We have spent so much time creating these false worlds that protect our kids from all aspects of real life. Upward! basketball and other places where everyone plays equal amounts are for those learning the game and should remain outside the box of common thinking when high school sports comes into play. Pissing and moaning about Johnny getting to play more or a coach yelling is not the correct way to go about anything.

The correct way is to get your butt in the gym, put on a game face, and figure out how far your heart will take you. If it is a matter of skill, a coach can help out, but if it is a matter of the heart then the ball is in your court.

I refuse to say bad things about a coach for this very reason: I have not been at their practice all week to see if little timmy has an ounce of fight in his blood for the ball. I have not been to practice all week to see if he has any kind of coachable spirit. I have not witnessed whether or not my kid has any kind of respect for his teammates or coaches. Therefore I will keep my mouth-shut.

People may disagree with me on that; but as I have seen both sides of coaching and parenting (at their best and at their worst); I cant help but feel uncomfortable about how many people have an opinion about the way coaches handle their business. If you look at them as people who are trying to achieve their own acclaim through the accomplishments of others you might be right. But also remember that they are preparing your student to work hard for everything that they get; to be part of the team even when it is hard; and to find the depth that they have to reach to excell at something. If you ask me, in this no-child-left-behind-world where many graduate and still cant read, sports seems to be the final real preparation for that hard-to-get-along-with-boss, the unfair workplace; the disappointing grade on a college test; or the rejection that comes with life. We don't need less sports; we need more.

The Struggles of Jr. High Ministry:

Every now and then a great idea for a series comes into my head. I feel like this series on community is a good one. The thing is, during these series there is usually one lesson that is extremely difficult to teach.

One thing I have realized in my work with Jr. High Students is that they have trouble comprehending really abstract thoughts. How do you explain faith; or hope; or love to Jr. High students?

As a matter of fact: how do you explain them to me?

Word studies just wont cut it. Most of the kids could care less that I can conjugate "elpis".

Its a different world in the days of Middle School ministry.

Generational Gaps

I would argue that the world cannot continue to change at its current pace.  Interestingly enough the generational gaps are widening, while the generations are narrowing.  A look over the last 15 years has brought remarkable change to technology, relationships, and life as we know it.  While I do think the rate of change can quicken, I believe that at some point the pace will cease to be improved upon, such as the natural limits for a sprinter in the 100 meter dash (The record can still be improved upon, but will never be 7 flat).  Along with technological advances, generations have been mutating faster than we could ever have imagined.  From the 1830’s to the 1930’s roughly the same style of dress was worn and the same values adhered too.  Likewise, there was little change prior to 1830.  Fashion and values have change greatly over the last decade, at constantly increasing rates.  Technology, in the same way, has slowly been changing quicker and quicker over the last decade.  Cassette tapes held on for 20 years, CD’s are becoming obsolete after 15 (kind of makes you rethink the $300 you dropped on your new ipod, knowing that it might be obsolete in 5 years).  VHS tapes went strong for a long while until usurped by DVDs, only to be supplanted by Blue Ray (if you don’t know what that is, ask your kids). 

            Why the sudden influx in advances and the constant need for change?  Walt Mueller in his book Engaging the Soul of Youth Culture, would attribute the change to a fateful day, November 22, 1964, when Kennedy was assassinated.  Between the atom bomb and Kennedy’s assassination, the world (and most prominently America) no longer believed in the rise of civilization and the upward trend of humanity.  He accredited the rise of postmodern thinking to this twenty year period in America. 

            I say all this for this very reason, the generations are changing at an ever increasing pace due to a lack of respect for truth and a constant Technological advancement.  If the church is unable to keep up and stay applicable; our churches are one generation from dying.  The search for answers; hope; and meaning are what the very church was created for.  

Just something to think about.

 

Advocacy: Who's side am I on?

I have always seen my job as a cultural go between, with the hope and ambition of working myself out of a job.

I understand that this is a mouthful, but as you break it down, it makes more sense. The way I see my job as youth pastor is not as a go between from parents and teenagers, but as a cultural bridge builder, whose purpose is to understand both cultures and teach both the methods and techniques to relate. The working myself out of job is my hope that as adults and youths learn how better to connect so that I will become unneeded.

Of course the other half of my job is leading kids to fall in love with Jesus, but for the time being I would like to focus on the previous statement.

Part of my job is to understand facebook, the social hierarchy of middle school, the appeal of halo, and exactly why punching is flirting in Jr. High.

Part of my is also spent informing parents on facebook, the struggles of high school, teenage relationships, and other things that their kids are dealing with.

So it begs the question: If the parents don't know these things, is it because the kids don't want them to know?

I am not talking about any particular circumstance at all, but the overall understanding that parents have of the teenage world. It is just like when your parents came to your grade school when you were a kid. For all you knew, they didn't have a clue what went on there; but suddenly the world where you can be your own person, smashes headfirst into the world where you will always be a mama's boy. See what I mean? The teenage world is very mysterious (and way overblown in movies) and I wonder if that is how the teens like it?

Last week, Jason Hildebrandt and I gave a workshop for parents about FaceBook (very few showed up, but that is a different article for a different time). I was reprimanded by a couple students for teaching their parents this teen-only tool.

Part of the teenage appeal, is that fact that parents will shake their head in frustration as they try to understand.

So who's side am I on?

I don't really know!

To all those concerned:

As I write this, there is a countdown timer inside my head ticking ever faster until six o'clock tonight. What happens at six o'clock you might ask: a convergence upon Central Park Christian Church by all ages; young and old alike. Jeff's childrens celebration downstairs is a Wednesday night dinner and lesson for area kids from 5th grade down to pre-school. He has at his disposal the fellowship hall and 3 class rooms. Our fellowship hall is the only large room we have in our 80 year old building. In the balcony, the womens bible study will meet in one of our class rooms. Across the street, the mens bible study will reside in one of their class rooms. Sandwiched in the middle of this mayhem will be me, alongside 25-30 rowdy jr. highers. I say middle because it is literally the middle of the building. Our second floor consists of offices; a parlor (a long narrow room with carpet); and an 80 year-old sanctuary, that looks as though Martin Luther could have graced its pulpit. As Churches are prone to do, our people protect our sanctuary. There is to be no running, eating, puking, drinking, aerobic exercises, smelling, pinching, or any other acts of non-reverence.

Paul talks about contentment in Philippians. I doubt the coveting of a gym was really in Paul's mind there, but I guess it applies. I am not saying the church needs a gym; however, for the sanity of the youth pastor i.e. me, a large room or any structure where energy can be expelled would greatly prolong my mental capacities as well as my patience.

To all those who are considering a $500,000 offering this weekend and still setting on the fence about it, I hope this plea finds you. Just know that you will not only be furthering God's kingdom, but saving me a butt-load of psychiatric bills and anti-depressants in my old age.

My Beat Down (redux)

In this egotistical, pride filled, and self-righteous society of ours it is very rare to find a man that admits his own short comings. I am not one of those men: I am weak. In my defense I have always been muscled-challenge. I knew it all along. In grade school they used to make us do chin ups in front of the whole class. I never did a chin up until my 7th grade year. Every year it was zero chin ups for me. In Jr. High we used to lift weights, I was unable to participate in the bench press because the bar was 45 pounds, which was way too heavy for a boy of my size. I didn't participate in the bench press until my sophomore year of high school. But it was then and there that I found me a sport that does not need any upper body strength at all: long distance running. Here were 100 other guys who could no more fill out their tank tops than I could. Sure enough I never had to lift a heavy object again. One summer I did get to the point where I could bench 120 lbs 10 times in a row, for 3 sets. I almost looked as if I had pecks, but soccer season came and I reverted back into my weakling stage. I was merely an ugly duckling in this mean swan filled world (the swans being muscular and strong).

Why do I bring this up you ask? Well it all hit the fan the other night.

A couple years ago, a couple friends and I were setting at Cheddars restaurant. We noticed this large, behemoth of a man setting at the table next to us. Lucas Littles told me to challenge him to an arm wrestling match. As previously established my upper body strength is not something that anyone would desire. The way I see it, there is just too much time involved to make myself look anywhere near a normal weight for someone my height (plus it is embarrassing when you are straining to bench press 80 lbs down in the gym, when surrounded by guys who have no purpose in life other than to lift heavy things that don’t really need to be lifted). This guy would have killed me. I decided that it would be advantageous for me to back down from the challenge. You can call it cowardice. You can call me a panzee. I don’t care, what am I going to do fight you? I backed down. Then the idea was purposed (I believe by Josh Brown, but can’t be quoted) that I should arm wrestle the waitress.

Any guy who has been in this situation knows that it is a no win situation at this point. There is no way to gracefully beat her; because if you do you will be labeled a jerk. However; if you let her win, the five guys surrounding me will never let it go. As it was, they had all of their cell phones out recording the grudge match. Behind our table there was a table of a couple guys who had been at the restaurant the entire time we had been there. I had lost count of the number of margarita's and beers that their table had consumed, but it was well over the amount that any self respecting adult should partake of in public. One of the guys at my table turned to them and informed them that I would be arm wrestling the waitress. The leader of the group (I deduced that he was the leader by the fact that he was the first to speak, the most drunk, and the most incoherent) began to speak to me in what sounded like a Cajun accent. Sure enough it could have been simply a southwest Missouri accent, but he was so inebriated that your guess is as good as mine. This man began threatening me with embarrassment should I lose. He threatened to hang me upside down from the rafters, like a piñata, if she was to beat me. This in fact would be where my nickname from him would come from. For the rest of the night he would refer to me as piñata.

The waitress made her way over to our table and promptly informed us that she was having a rough night. She was responsible for all of the tables on the patio, which judging from the quality of the people that I had observed there, seems to have been quite the ordeal. Upon setting at our table she let me know that she had a lot of pent up rage from the night. This posed a serious problem for me. (1) She was kind of scary. (2) The rage that she was carrying was apparently at this point allocated in my direction. At this point in time no clear cut solution presented itself, so I proceeded on with the match. We grabbed hands. Just as our hands met, moron #2 from the drunken table walked over and placed his hands on top of ours. He had appointed himself referee. Suddenly this has taken a turn for the serious. We got the paparazzi made up of all of my friend’s video taping with their cell phones. We have the hecklers, meaning the drunk guy that is affectionately calling me “piñata” at the top of his lungs. Servers and bus boys are taking breaks to watch, and I wasn’t sure, but I think I heard it announced over the intercom. Plus there is the referee, who now has my hand and her hand in a death grip. There was no backing out now. Why is it that we feel it necessary to maintain our pride in front of complete strangers?

I really felt good about my odds. That is until I heard the word “go.” At that point, as opposed to letting go of our hands and allowing us to fairly arm wrestle, he slams mine and her hand in the direction that she was aiming for and declared her the winner. It was over in less than a second. Now this story is completely true, but is currently lacking the video evidence. If you look really closely at the video tape, you can see glimpses of him helping her out. But the tape hides it quite well. I am not lying to you here. I was cheated. Now without any pride, and any dignity, I stand before a broken and dejected man. For I know that I was cheated and am unable to prove it. Part of me wants a rematch. Part of me wants to forget being beaten, even if it was cheating.

I guess this does save me the embarrassment of actually losing. But I still think I could have taken her.

Why do I tell the previous story; because the other night at youth group,

I WAS ONCE AGAIN BEATEN UP BY A GIRL!

Where as the waitress was in her twenties, I was dominated at youth group by a 15 year old girl who will never be in the position to have to lie about her weight. She might go 75 pounds on a good day. I was watching the Cowboys game in the fellowship hall when she snuck up on me. She approached me on my six; while I was unaware (I would like to let all people know that this was an unprovoked attack). Her next move was to strike me with a fun noodle in the back of my head. She did this twice. I grabbed the nearest fun noodle and went to pummeling her. During the course of this epic battle (which I was winning), I knocked her weapon out of her hand. It had landed behind her on the tile floor of the fellowship hall. Understanding that upon her retrieval she would once again use the noodle to attack me, I had to win the race for retrieval. Throwing caution to the wind, I threw myself, head first, at the motionless noodle. My hand graced the foam, just as my shoulder hit her calf, throwing her off balance and into a sitting position on my head. Her landing on my head drove my orbital into the tile floor, opening a nice gash above my left eye. Blood poured down both sides of my eye. The bleeding finally stopped. It could probably use a couple stitches, but I don’t really want to deal with the hospital to get them.

Earlier in my ministry one of my sponsors broke his nose on a kids shoulder while playing a game. At the hospital he was more concerned about how Jake felt, the owner of the shoulder that broke his nose. In that same position, I thought Ramsey was going to cry. I felt bad for her because it wasn’t her fault, but she was really concerned.

Here is what my eye looked like, post bloodshed.

I fear that in an effort to be cutting edge,

we have ignored the foundations and subsequent learning’s of others.

In the past week I have read two books. The first was a book about hymns and the stories that surrounded many of the hymns that were sung years ago. The other was a book called the Barbarian Way, by Erwin McManus. I am not new to McManus. I have read Uprising and Seizing Your Divine Moments, which were written by him as well. While reading this, I found his overall distaste for any kind of establishment and tradition to really turn me off of his whole idea. I might be reading to far into it; however, I think you find the same overtones within uprising.

I went to a Bible College where many traditions are age old and conservatism is more prevalent than some others. There were some rules there that I did not understand. We could not have long hair (which I have been told has now changed). We could not smoke or drink. We could not wear shorts to class. We had to be in the dorms by a certain time. Some of my class mates took offense to these rules. Some chose not to follow them, for the simple reason that they were outdated and traditional. The same attitude is given to religion as well. Oh wait, I am not allowed to say that word. "Religion" has become synonymous with traditional and lackluster. What is a religion? A set of beliefs or practices. From the root word "rely."

I can't count the number of facebook pages that say

“Religious Views: Its not a religion, its a relationship.”

So what you have there, trendy and cutting edge individual, is a relationship based upon no belief, no trust, and no practices if it is not a religion. This is not about semantics, nor do I wish to imply that there is no substance to the fact that it is a relationship; however, at least understand the meaning of religion before giving it a bad repoir.

It is called a religion because it is a set of beliefs and practices that have evolved over the years, in a manner that has greatly affected the generation before you. There are a great number of men and women, who are respected that were brought up in this “religion” that many are quick to trash should the word religion take on a negative connotation. Many were raised singing hymns and dressing up for church.

Challenging the status quo is not something that I do well or often. I tend to swim along with the current on most things. One thing I have noticed about may of those who take a stand to be different and cutting edge, who cut down the traditions and beliefs just because they can, do it for that very reason. They can! It really isn't about a rededication to the original gospel, to get to know Jesus, or even to deeper commune with God, it is the understanding that they will get attention. McManus does it to sell books. Some preachers will go up on stage and say something to challenge everyone, not for the purpose of better communication, not the betterment of their congregation, or even that they believe it, but for the purpose of attracting attention to themselves. If you make a statement, that you have to spend the next 40 minutes explaining, then it was probably better served not to make it.

As for the rules and traditions at school, Jesus called you to a life of submission. How can you submit to him, if you are unable to follow completely arbitrary rules that have no bearing on your own devotion to him. You are not growing your hair long to get to know him better, you are not willing to cut your hair because you don't want to. John has some words for that: "he must become greater, I must become less."

Often times our own rebellion to the status quo is just that, it is "our" own wants and desires that are really placed before anything else. I don't condone doing church as it always has been done, just think before changing it: "Is this for me, or is it for the advancement of His kingdom."

My advice to all those who desire to write a cutting edge book that challenges the way everyone thinks and challenges many traditions that church members hold dear: understand them before changing them. If you can't understand why something was done a particular way (for example the reason a set of beliefs is called a religion, or why a church sang hymns), then you have no business changing it. Should you begin to understand why, ask yourself the reason for the change.

This blog’s purpose is simply this: I work with youth. I have been a youth most of my life, and acted like a youth most of college. The negative light upon which tradition and religion, has been shone, is done by people who either do not understand, or do not wish to relinquish their own ego to acknowledge. There are times to be cutting edge. There are times when proper respect needs to be given to how thing have evolved. In our effort to be trendy and current, let us not neglect the foundations upon which the church was built. There is a mid way point I fear some have passed in an effort to be cutting edge. It is a line that is easily bypassed in youthful exuberance and narrow vision.

Why can't I grow up? Do I want to?

My 9 months at Central Park, have been hands-off easy. No major problems to speak of.

It is a frightening realization to know that you are in over your head. Situations arise where there is nothing to say. Sitting in a hospital room, around a family that has given you support and care for the last 9 months, watching them suffer and grieve...what can you possibly say?

I have read the books on suffering: The Problem of Pain, Where is God when it hurts?, Disappointment with God. Gotta be honest: the books mean nothing in that room. A couple of the girls were crying...once a girl starts crying, I become worthless. I had nothing to say.

I felt like I froze. I don't know what I would have said. I don't know what I could have said.

One of my goals for this blog was to inform parents about the youth ministry; the other was to allow a place for other youth workers learn, comment, and grow, based on my own downfalls. I wanted a place like this during college, where I could read the exploits of other youth pastors, and see the ins and outs of youth ministry. I found myself in that place where advice would have come in handy.

Its times like these that I envy Jesus. He always seemed to know what to say. When hurting people came to him, he never had to call for a line. Paul advises us in Romans to "mourn with those who mourn." I wonder if he ever froze in his own ministry. Job's friends set with him in an ash heap for a week without saying anything.

Concerning the emotions involved in the last 24 hours, I don't know what the appropriate response was. I think the way of Job's friends is a good way to go...plus it doesn't get you in much trouble.

I walked back to my car with a couple people. My nature came out and stupidity flowed forth. The lack of serious response flowed from within me. At what point in time are emotions easy to show? Sometime I will grow enough to face emotions without sarcasm, a reason that I gave one of my girls as to why a guy she knew wasn't showing much emotion.

HUH?