My 9 months at Central Park, have been hands-off easy. No major problems to speak of.
It is a frightening realization to know that you are in over your head. Situations arise where there is nothing to say. Sitting in a hospital room, around a family that has given you support and care for the last 9 months, watching them suffer and grieve...what can you possibly say?
I have read the books on suffering: The Problem of Pain, Where is God when it hurts?, Disappointment with God. Gotta be honest: the books mean nothing in that room. A couple of the girls were crying...once a girl starts crying, I become worthless. I had nothing to say.
I felt like I froze. I don't know what I would have said. I don't know what I could have said.
One of my goals for this blog was to inform parents about the youth ministry; the other was to allow a place for other youth workers learn, comment, and grow, based on my own downfalls. I wanted a place like this during college, where I could read the exploits of other youth pastors, and see the ins and outs of youth ministry. I found myself in that place where advice would have come in handy.
Its times like these that I envy Jesus. He always seemed to know what to say. When hurting people came to him, he never had to call for a line. Paul advises us in Romans to "mourn with those who mourn." I wonder if he ever froze in his own ministry. Job's friends set with him in an ash heap for a week without saying anything.
Concerning the emotions involved in the last 24 hours, I don't know what the appropriate response was. I think the way of Job's friends is a good way to go...plus it doesn't get you in much trouble.
I walked back to my car with a couple people. My nature came out and stupidity flowed forth. The lack of serious response flowed from within me. At what point in time are emotions easy to show? Sometime I will grow enough to face emotions without sarcasm, a reason that I gave one of my girls as to why a guy she knew wasn't showing much emotion.
HUH?
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