In the beginning, God desired to partner with man in doing his work. Man's first task: name the animals. Simple enough. God brought the animals to him one by one, or two by two if that helps you. Adam started out with a desire to impress. He named the big animals, elephant, hippopotamus...and the little animals, platypus, and armadillo. You can almost imagine the angels rolling their eyes at God as if to say: "You created this thing with the ego, not us." After a long day, remember there are no extinct species at this point, man finds himself very tired.
God says to Adam: "hang with me, I have one more animal to name, only one little small animal, and you can rest." God brings the animal to Adam, and Adam racks his brain trying to come up with a good name for this creature. He finally settles on the name "dog." God is psyched, that's his name spelled backward. He decides that it will be man's best friend and he is glad to be done.
Adam feels around his feet another small, furry creature. He thinks to himself: "I thought God said that last one was it." He thinks about what to name this creature, he wants to go short and sweet. He racks his brain and comes up with "cat."
The commotion caught God's attention, and he says to Adam: "Wait a minute, I didn't create that thing."
It could have happened.
I am still staying at the Maddock's and their cat is still alive (I'll keep you posted on its whereabouts it the unthinkable should happen). I have never been fond of cats. This particular cat, has been one of the worst ones I have met. It definitely has caused me to hat their species even more than ever.
A couple reasons I hate cats:
1. At the risk of sounding anthropomorphistic, this cat is the most emotionally and physically needy individual that I have ever met. It has a constant appetite for attention and adoration. I could be in a room working, and the cat will paw at the door for the next 2 hours attempting to get in (a dog would have figured it out the second the door was closed). When it does enter the room, it will immediately rub up against your leg. There is no such thing as the other side of the room when it comes to cats...it is either on your lap or in the next county. It has no personal space and no ability to occupy and entertain itself. It is like a baby. It needs to get a life, or find some cats from the other side of the tracks and form a hooligan gang, rampaging through the streets; or it could make an attempt to jump off the roof and not land on its feet. Anything would be better than bothering me.
2. Have you ever looked at their eyes. They are the exact same eyes as snakes. And if you study Genesis, snakes are the devil. The narrow, vertical pupils are present in all things not containing souls. Check your mirror, see the rounded pupils, you're safe; cats on the ot
her hand are soul-less creatures, bound to experience all 7 levels of Dante's hell; since they have 9 lives, I think it is 63 levels of hell. Still, I think they are getting better than what they deserve.3. Cats shed their hair like an Eskimo sheds clothing during a heat wave. How do I know? I don't own anything with out cat hair on it. My new felt cowboy hat, looks like it is graying. My clothes look like their growing a winter coat.
4. The constant need to be heard. They sit right behind you and purr constantly. No other being is praised so highly for being so annoying. It is like that bothersome child that says your name constantly, at a level just loud enough for you to hear it. The constant purring, is like a dripping faucet, once you notice it, you can't ignore it. The only way to fix it is to smack it with a heavy metal wrench at the point of the drip.
5. It does not understand how humans walk. Dogs can "heel"; meaning they walk next to you, right at your knee. I have been kicking this cat as I walk, hoping that it will learn. It has a tendency to walk in between your legs all the time. It also stops randomly, directly in your path. I kick it a lot, not intentionally, but I don't hold back either. It will learn, actually it won't; but that brings us to reason (6) CATS ARE STUPID!
C.J. the Dog, I have had no trouble with. Played fetch, and ate steak...I like dogs.
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